Entry #4

Colony of ants

I am surrounded by people tormented by their past , or the things they’ve done and

there’s no way for them to see it.
 The world we live in has become so loud that we all became blind to the real world.
 There’s always some distraction , some noise surrounding us at all times, and I have the luxury of being able to slow down my life until I can hear the birds sing.
 I can smell the rain coming down before it’s there , i can hear the leaf falling out of the tree before it reaches the ground but it came at a cost that no one could have predicted.

It’s as if, slowly, we’ve been selling our attention to the highest bidder and the illusion became better than what we could have ever imagined.

We’ve played with fire and now we’re all slowly burning. 
I see people inside their own little world but i don’t see them here anymore they’re gone , answering yes and no question but there’s no one home anymore.

everyone is now becoming a very disturbing product of society.

We’re not so different from a colony of ants.
 We lost the war for our attention.
 We fear robots and AI, but what if we’re actually becoming these things?


We don’t know who we are anymore, we don’t know where we are anymore and when you don’t know these things , there’s no hope left for you.

So aren’t we just living the same life , mindlessly consuming, struggling, fighting, and sleeping forever?

What’s the point of it all , we really only have one life and that’s it.

This fight for our mind has been lost a long time ago and no one saw it coming. 
But then what do we do with the people left that choose to stay awake ?


It’s like living in a nightmare where everyone is deaf and blind but you’re not.

You look around and see that there’s no reason to fight.
 Maybe they should all go back to sleep wouldn’t it be easier like that ? 


Would it be wrong to let it all go?


To slowly give up all that you are so you can live in this fake world, just like in a modern jail but no one know it’s a jail so we say we’re all free.

See, there’s the day where you gaze too far into the abyss and there’s the day where it decides to gaze back at you.
 There’s something that will break inside of 
yourself, kinda like a broken pair of glasses.
 You can still see, but it will always be a shattered view.

Some will hide in the forest, some will suffer, some will become judges of others and 
many will choose to end it now.

I still do not have my answers to these questions, and I probably never will, but there is one thing I know: the only medicine that ever worked for me is art ,any kind, 
Painting, writing , singing , music.. 
These are not the answers we want, but
 they’ll make sure you get to live another day in the real world.

Now for most people those words will mean nothing but i do not write nor sing for most people , i am not here to play in a circus nor try to be something I am not , I am sharing those things in the hope that it’s going to help the one awake out of a thousand sleeping.

Now, as I slow down my life until I can hear the birds singing, I will search endlessly for any answers for we all have a reason to be here and a mission to achieve and I hope that you find yours and that you dedicate your life to it. 


So bear with me , time is our savior and remember the changing seasons , nothing is ever forever.

C.J

Entry #3

The artist.

To live as an artist is to be judged at all times, to be misunderstood and permanently taken for a fool or a mad man. You entertain the masses and torment the ones who are waking up, you may not deserve the social norms, love, family, or an easy life, or maybe you do, but don’t dwell on it for too long, for you could miss what’s right in front of you.

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Do not lose yourself for too long, and you ought to be careful of the voices in your head.

Most of them are not meant for the present world but for another place, far in your dream, far in another universe of yours. Now you’re here, and here is all that matters.

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You may live in hell or in heavens here; both only depend on the quality of your thoughts.

You may want to see yourself as already dead, as if you’re alone, dying, and going into the other life, if there’s such a thing, to remember and accept that we came here alone and we will leave alone.

It’s a gentle reminder that all the noises in the world can’t get to you if you’re not there.

You live in a world of yours and know that you will make a lot of noise, but that’s a good thing, you’re not there anyways, isn’t it?

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There's forces at play in this grand scheme of things, and all we can do is first choose our side and then respect the balance needed to keep this world together. Evil and good are really the same thing; it’s just a question of perspective and context.

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You shall not dwell on what you don’t have; therefore, you do not need any other thing than yourself. What is here is here, what is gone is gone.

We are not that special or unique, I believe, but we all have a major play on this worldwide chessboard of ours, all parts of micro moves to help the good or cherish the evil. No one is innocent and everyone is guilty. As much as we could blame the artist or the sheep, we all weep the same way and we all suffer the in same way.

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For we have to show compassion and empathy to the less fortunate, it’s a reminder that you’ve made it to the other side, so be grateful.

For some, this whole thing is too serious, for others, it’s a reason to live and fight, but for me, it’s a very simple matter: do a little bit of good every day and create, and create until there’s nothing left, for this is the only way out of this nightmare.

C.J

Corrected words and punctuation made by AI.

Entry #2

Winners and losers.

In this world, where winners and losers keep on colliding with each other, made from the same flesh and bones, some will call it luck, timing, uneducated, bold, poor, lazy, and all of the made up nonsense for why you can’t do it. Oftentimes, people don’t realize that the price is not greater for one or the other, they both will have to pay it in full to their former self for the rest of their life. Either the kid with dreams that he gave up, or the kid too scared to become anything else than what they told him to be.

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As we know, people will be people, everyone wants what they don’t have, they all pray and hope like mindless members of a unified underground world where none are aware of its existence.There’s no right or wrong, just context and perspective, and we all carry the ability to be the very worst or the very best.

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Some would call this a matrix, a system, a prison, or heaven if they’ve been sleeping for a long time. One thing we have to keep in mind is that it’s not a need for the whole world to wake up to that. It’s also a hell of a reality for the sleepers to understand that none of what you ever wanted, and none of what you will ever be, is anything that you shall ever have.There’s nothing at the end of the tunnel for people like you, just a feeling of existential crisis while you realize the never ending cycle of our reality.

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Some call it a torture, and others delight in chaos and in the absurdity in which everything will prevail with or without you. You may not want to wake up one day, but the system, just like you, is here for a reason .It helps the souls that do not want to wake up. But if you’re one of those who were forced at a very young age, then you must go on the journey.And remember, if you end up like one of those junkies on the side of the street, don’t feel ashamed of it. Don’t judge your brothers and sisters, for there’s a world out there made of your worst nightmares, and that’s the “real” reality.

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Do not dare look into the abyss if you’re not willing to die many times, for there is really nothing truly romantic or beautiful about being who we are.We really are the most absurd creation of the universe, for we wage war to fight for peace, and we fight for peace by going to war.

C.J