Entry #1

Torments and realization .

25-08-18

You're not searching for place to be , you're not this place of yours that you call home nor any other things that can be seen or heard , only felt.

You'd never imagine what the cost would be to wander through the deserted territories of the mind, to go beyond any limits conceptually possible.

You're at a place now that you just want to go back to sleep but you're also aware that there was never a plan B to this whole journey of yours.

There's only one way left to go , one way left to know.

;

You travel light and wonder around the whole world thinking the next place will be yours , but in fact the only place where you can find what you really want is in your dreams , in the unconscious , there's a loving world over there , most people don't know about it but the day you feel those people you'll do everything in your power to go back there , you're from very far and no one can reach out to you but only when you sleep can you find any form of peace.

;

You see a world that was once something incredibly beautiful being shattered by what you've been seeking since day one , it's not a break up , not a tragedy , not something that you can talk about with many people , it's the real world calling you back.

There's a real reality in this world and i wish I'd be able to give all that I have to go back into this illusion of the self , I know I would die pretty fast if I did just that , so I am left in a territory that felt like home a long time ago.

My life is already perfect but I'm aware that there's nothing wrong with what I've built , what's wrong is that I lost the pair of glasses I used to see with , this little happy world of mine , these beautiful people and the sun shining every morning , well I can say it's all gone and done for good so what's really left of me after all of that.

Not much for now , I know something good will come out of that but I also know I'm not out of trouble yet , I'd even say that the next couple of months or years will be pretty rough , I thought I'd share some of it here and there , maybe it's gonna help some of those rare people willing to face the world for what it is and not for the illusion that was sold to us for pennies on the dollars.

;

After all , what is left of this world is to go on for another day , to fight for another sunrise and to crash again and again , for one has to become the rock near the oceans , eroded by the waves that comes crashing down , bigger and bigger as the world try to shut you down so you'll become one of them.

It's a survival where none of us will make it out of it alive , but at least we're living.

We're living until we're not.

C.J